Today
July 8, 2008,
Every year when the time changes and the days get longer I began suffering from insomnia. I recently did some research on some of the symptoms that I suffer from and Summer SAD came to my attention. Summer SAD or Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder is the opposite of the winter blues. It is very common for people to feel depressed, have an increased appetite for carbohydrates and sleep more during the winter months. Those who suffer from Summer SAD may experience agitation, anxiety, loss of appetite, insomnia and may have increased suicidal fantasies. Luckily for me, I am only suffering from anxiety, INSOMNIA and slight loss of appetite. In doing this research, I feel relieved to know that there are others who have the same symptoms. I have been trying really hard to push through it by eatting better, drinking LOTS of water, excercising and taking my vitamins. It is hard for me to not be hard on myself if I don’t accomplish everything that I want to do in a day. That is part of the deal with Summer SAD, sometimes it is just an accomplishment to get out of bed and feed my kids. I may not make it out of my pj’s everyday but at least I know the problem.
Doreen Bradley Satter puplished an article on SAD and Summer SAD on Associated Content. Here is an excerpt:
In addition, both types of SAD may also include the symptoms present in other kinds of depression such as ongoing feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, feelings of guilt, loss of interest or pleasure in activities previously enjoyed and physical problems such as headaches and stomachaches.
Some Things to do to Help Cope with Summer SAD:
Drink lots of water. Dehydration leads to irritation
Keep cool with air conditioning or fans
Wear cool clothing of natural fiber
Have thick curtains that can block out the sunlight
Wear sunglasses when out in the sun
Avoid junk food. Eat healthy foods such as lean meat, fish, fruits and vegetables,
Avoid caffeine and alcohol
Keep bedroom cool at night
Take vitamin B complex and C and mineral magnesium (you lose this as you perspire).
You can view the entire article by clicking on the link http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/88670/sad_in_the_summer.html?cat=5
I was so glad to find information on this reaccuring issue of mine. I hope this information helps someone else out there who has grown to hate the summertime and doesn’t understand why!
Reb
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June 16, 2008,
As I know I have shared with you, we lost our home to foreclosure a little over a year ago like so many others who got a subprime loan. At the time we purchased our house, I was working full time from home and did receive several credit card offers because of the approval for the house. The purchase of our home was in my name only. Shortly after we moved into our new home, I started suffering from post-pardum depression and ended up going on disability for about year. Originally, I was under the impression that I would be able to return to work but with a different position. When the time came, however, I was informed that I would have to take on the same responsibilities. I had three young children and I was working from home full-time and often on call on the weekends. My job requirements meant that I had to answer the phone whenever it rang and it rang a lot. It was too much for me and my children were being neglected. They began showing me how they felt by using very upsetting ways of communicating their feelings since they couldn’t quite verbally communicate effectively. Inevitably, I didn’t go back. I still had the house payments, credit card payments along with all utilities, food, gas, etc. My husband had also been working full-time but lost his job and he couldn’t collect unemployment because his benefits had been exhausted.
It has been over a year and these things obviously are still haunting me. I have been busting my butt to make seventy-five dollar payments to one creditor and it isn’t enough they tell me. I don’t have an income right now. I depend solely on what my husband brings in to pay bills, food, gas, etc. I am a stay-at-home mom to our 6, 5 and 3 year old, a FULL-TIME job, especially in the summertime! I have had one payment not go through and now this creditor is getting nasty. They don’t care that I can barely make the seventy-five dollar payments or that I am trying my best or that I lost my house or that I have three kids….THEY WANT THEIR MONEY NOW! Friends tell me to declare bankruptcy but I can’t even afford to do that right now.
I am trying not to let this ruin my day but it can be all consuming. I guess all I can do is vent. I am a good person. I am trying my best and I know my debts. I cannot pay them off without an income of my own. It is hard to find outside employment when you are responsible for three young people. Our society and government still does not consider being a stay-at-home parent a paying full-time job. It would be awesome to have more legitimate opportunities to work from home that allow flexibility and understanding of parental responsibilities. Right now I hold my breath and hope that this summer goes fast. I pray I make it back to college in the fall.
Reb
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May 19, 2008,
Well, Mother’s Day came and went. The usual for me, I certainly didn’t get the day off. If I did what would I do………….get a massage, drink many margarita’s, look fabulous, and get a room-to myself with NO interuptions. A mom can dream! I just wish that when my hubby asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day and I replied with some simple thing that he didn’t take me literally. It would be nice to be surprised for once with a…..well, a SURPRISE! A return for all of the wonderful, stupendous, fantastic and tasty things that I deliver on a daily basis. I appreciate that Mother’s Day is a manufactured holiday but it is the designated day to celebrate mothers. As a child I tried my best to appreciate my mother on a regular basis. I would run down the hall and attack her from behind with a tight squeeze of love and gratitude. I learned to do many chores to help reduce her load. I colored pretty cards on Mother’s Day and said how much I loved her and all that she did for us. Being a mother now myself, I know my kids appreciate me and quite frankly I love to take GOOD care of them. It is a joy and I am thankful and blessed to have them as my own.
Have a Great Day!
Reb
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April 26, 2008
Like an idiot, I took my girls to go grocery shopping at nine-forty-five last night, thinking that because they had a late nap that they MIGHT behave. Huh! I got the non-food items I needed and headed toward the food section. The girls we all over the place so for the first time I ditched my basket and said that we were leaving. They were perplexed. It was suddenly eleven o’clock and I was in the dairy section questioning what the hell I was doing. It didn’t help that I was pissed at dh.
After getting home and getting the girls to bed, I settled in for three hours of Dexter. I know that you will find this sick but I tend to find gory movies/entertainment very theraputic. I am a Zombie movie lover. I forgot that I am signed up for the first annual Wichita Zombie Crawl on May tenth! Anyone care to join me? We would get to dress up like Zombies and crawl around the city. Freakin’ Sweet!
Anyhoo, I guess I will settle in with a blanket and watch some Dexter before bedtime. DH is watching The Venture Brothers right now. I watch and or hear cartoons so much with my kids and it makes me crazy so I don’t generally watch animation if I don’t have to watch it. The Venture Brothers, Futurama and Family Guy are my dh’s favorites. Maybe I should check out 30 days of Night……
Have a great night and Sunday!
Reb
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April 25, 2008,
For some reason the stomach flu likes my house. I went to a playdate last week with just my girls and exactly five days later they were sick. My son is just barely showing signs of sickness today. Sucks! I am glad that the school year is almost over. I will say that I intend on getting everyone a flu shot next year!
I have been absent quite a bit from my MySpace page lately. I just can’t find the time to spend on it. I discovered all of the new Apps. that they added about a month ago. Now, I feel like my page is ancient. I just don’t want to crowd my page with a bunch of stuff because then visitors won’t see who I am. I know that there is the option not to add the App. to your profile and maybe that’s what I should do… I tend to get carried away and spend too much time on my profile and then I don’t get much of anything else done. It is fun to search through all of the different profiles. I haven’t added new friends in a while either. I find that is a good way to network. I use to visit my friends weekly on Fridays but it just became too time consumming.
I have been working on some new artwork lately. I’ve got three new pieces so far. I have only worked with one in Paint and Artweaver. It is fun to take a simple ink drawing and make it complex by creating fractal art. I am big on symmetrical art.
I guess I will go get dinner going. I know I shouldn’t have to cook on a Friday night but with food prices as they are now, I am glad to have food in the house! Godbless and may you have a pleasant weekend!!
Reb
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April 15, 2008
Well, we survived another move! It wasn’t that bad. The suckiest part was having to clean the old apartment on Sunday night until 1030pm on a school night. It went quickly though and it was in walking distance. I think that this has been the closest move we have ever made and NO MORE STAIRS! Well, there are stairs inside the apartment up to the bedrooms but we don’t have to conquer three flights just to walk in the front door. I am NOT going to miss carrying three or four loads of groceries up those stairs! I also have to worry about my butt getting saggy though so I better start hitting the excercise pretty soon. I started off the year pretty well but, of course, I got lazy. It is time to get into gear! Have a great hump day!
Reb
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March 31, 2008,
We are moving into a townhouse in the same complex this weekend and I am very excited about not having to go to the laundromat again for a while. I took the girls with me on Saturday and was there from 3pm until 745pm. Lots of folding and chasing kids. I will not miss that especially when someone has the flu or has an accident. We will also have an extra half bath and with five people it will be a blessing. I have a lot of packing to do this week but once we get settled, hopefully we won’t have to move again for a year or more. We are looking to Mother Nature to bless us with a couple of clear days for moving. It is certainly a lot less predictable here in Kansas than it was in California. When we got a thirty percent chance of rain in Yucaipa we scoffed and didn’t bother to hunt down an umbrella. In Wichita, if there is a thirty percent chance of rain it usually means a down pour! I like the weather, you never know what you are going to get!
Have a great day!
Reb
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March 20, 2008
I have been looking forward to Spring. We survived our first winter in Wichita. No too bad, the snow was cool but we were really not totally prepared for it. My only real problem is insomnia. Every year when the time changes my life instantly changes. I cannot seem to get to bed on time, making it difficult to get up in the morning. It seems to get later and later each night. I take Simply Sleep and that helps keep me asleep. In the summer time, I generally stay up until 2am or 3am at the latest. My body still wants that good eight hour rest so I can’t wakeup on time. It is really disruptive, especially when I have to get the kids to school. It is Spring Break so maybe I am being a bit more lax about it, staying up later than everyone else gives me a needed bit of alone time. Well, my kitchen is a mess and I must go tackle it. Have a great day!
Reb
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March 7, 2008
How time has slipped away. I have been enjoying the ‘nice’ weather and working on CSS notes. We are looking to move into a townhouse by the end of the month. It would be a building over from where we are now and close to the park. It will probably be the easiest move that we have had in seven years of marriage and we have moved six times already since April of 2007.
I have been planning Zoie’s 5th birthday and Quynne’s 3rd birthday party. Quynne and Zoie were born two years, two days apart and actually Quynne’s original due date was on Zoie’s birthday, March 10th. You can’t plan that….they are two very unique, beautiful and special little girls and I am blessed to have them.
Looking back at the year, this time last year we were standing in the kitchen of our house wondering if we could possibly save it. We were one of the millions of families in this prosperous country going through a foreclosure. At the time it REALLY SUCKED but looking back it was probably for the best. It didn’t feel like it at the time but going through that really tough time is what we needed to make a change. It came automatically, and it turned out the theatre company Robert was working for didn’t make it. RCLO closed last December. Kansas has been different, lots of vibrant weather and really interesting, caring, intellectual people who are really interested when they ask ‘how are you today?’ We have met lots of colorful souls, some from California who had similar financial experiences. We were drowning financially there. We aren’t cash rich here but our bills are paid and we have food on the table. My husband has grown a lot in his new position. I look at our kids and how they are growing so quickly and I really try to enjoy them every second. It’s tough though. Facing another long, humid summer, I hope we get out more to meet people and experience this country’s beauty.
I am definitely thankful that it is Friday and I feel Spring Break creeping up on me………………Have a great weekend!
Reb
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February 20, 2008
Well, the flu has made it through Wichita. My son started getting sick on Sunday and the girls shortly after, making for multiple trips to the laundromat. Fun, fun. My son is so weak he needs help getting around. He seems the worst hit. My husband and I didn’t get hit too hard though my hubby did miss two days of work. I think he really needed to recover from over four weeks of no break, he has been working overtime on the weekends. I can feel something in my head and I feel a bit achy but I suppose I will just ignore it. I hate seeing the kids so sick. I miss their smiles and I hate to say it but even their playful bantering. Hopefully, all will return back to normal in a few days. Have a great week!
Reb
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February 17, 2008
About a week or three ago I built a profile for my art on a website called “The Vision Grove.”
I received their newsletter yesterday and I am a featured artist! Check it out:
http://www.thevisiongrove.com/lodestone/32I also empowered myself by chopping off my hair on Friday. I have worn it long for about five years for my dh mostly. It got to the point were it took too long to comb out in the shower. I wasn’t enjoying it. With my busy schedule I need a cut that allows me to wash and go. I am loving it and surprisingly so does dh. Go figure! Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.My big kids are sick with the flu. I hate seeing the kids sick :~<Reb
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February 11, 2008
I was just pondering the feeling of anger and how it can take hold of you. I have been excercising somewhat regularly since the end of December and I have really noticed my levels of anger have tapered off quite a bit. I used to get really irritable around four pm when the kids would all be home afterschool. It would pretty much continue until bedtime. I have noticed that I have a higher patience level and I am able to maintain that better now that I have consistantly been excercising. It has helped me appreciate my kids more and I have been able to enjoy special moments with them. Most of all I have slowed down a bit and taken a step back to see things from their perspective. It has been awesome. I am also sleeping better. I hope to continue this positive journey throughout this year. Have a great week!
Reb
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February 5, 2008
It is hard to believe that it is already the fifth of February. This year is going by quickly. Woke at five am to a pretty intense hail and thunderstorm. I remember as a kid the New England thunderstorms would scare the crap out of me. As an adult, I appreciate the beauty of the storms, their intensity. My kids didn’t even stir. We are on the top floor of our building and the noise can get really loud and the building often shakes. I am looking forward to those tornado warnings, not really. I must appreciate, however, that there are warnings. In CA, you don’t get a warning for an earthquake. I hate earthquakes. I remember the Northridge quake made the floor in my bedroom in Bakersfield roll and that was a good ninety six miles away. I don’t miss earthquakes. I do miss the beautiful green mountains of the CA coast though. They are so majestic. Kansas is a bit flat but at least there are some big trees. Anyway, another winter storm is on its way. Fun, fun.
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January 31, 2008,
I am thankful this morning for a snow day, school was canceled. We got to sleep in but I am sure by around 3pm I will be pretty agitated because my kids will have been fighting most of the day. Oh well, I would rather be warm inside than fighting the cold! I am thinking of cooking up some banana nut bread and maybe some oatmeal cookies. Perhaps that will keep the kids interested for five minutes. Of course, we will have to make a blanket fort! In CA, we only had late days due to the fog. I am kind of diggin’ the snow days. Hopefully when I get my education I can build up a home business and not have to worry about childcare on days like this. I am glad that I can be here for my kids and I know when they look back it will be an important memory. Sometimes things just work out they way they are supposed to. I need to finish up on some notes so I can take an important exam next month, so I will keep this short! Have a great day!
Reb
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January 28, 2008
My son has beautiful red hair. It was quite a surprise to me when he was born but it runs in my husband’s family. This weekend my boy got a hair cut, thanks to me. Basically it’s a bit longer than a buzz cut. I love it because I can see his beautiful face, however, he was quite shocked to see it. He started crying because he was afraid that his teacher and his classmates wouldn’t recognize him. I gave him a great big hug and explained that they would. I told him a story about a hair cut I got in sixth grade. I explained that I had had long thick wavy hair. One weekend I went to get a haircut and decided that I was tired of it. I got it cut into a ‘bob.’ It was an adjustment but I knew that it would grow back. I went to school that Monday nervous about what people would say. I was waiting for a friend in the front of the school when my classmates started approaching me complimenting my haircut. I was thrilled. I thought it was great. It continued throughout the day. Some people said that I looked like a movie star, that I looked older or that they just didn’t recognize me. They all said that they really liked it. It made me feel great. I think this story helped my son feel better but I offered to drive him to school and walk him to class just to make sure that everyone recognized him.
We had some time to kill after we dropped off his sister at preschool so we, my son, myself and his baby sister, went for donuts. We each got chocolate frosted donuts and a small carton of milk. We were lucky enough to get the last three cartons. I commented to the cashier how it made for a perfect Monday and she replied that there aren’t many of those. I agreed. We ate our donuts, my son ate most of them and then we drove to his school. We sat in the van reading his ‘Spiderwick’ book until the bell rang and then we headed to his classroom. The principal was greeting students as we walked in the building and she immediately commented on Parker’s haircut and how she liked it very much. He smiled and I gave him a squeeze. We got to his classroom and his teacher met us at the door, looking surprised and said she loved his new haircut. He was thrilled. I gave him a quick kiss and wished him a good day and snuck away. It really was a perfect Monday morning. Sometimes what seems to be bad only happens so that something excellent can follow! Have a great day.
Reb
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January 23, 2008
I can’t help but be incredibly disturbed by the unexpected death of actor Heath Ledger. He was only 28 years old. Recently, I had seen a picture of him at a premiere and noted how unhealthy he was looking. His skin didn’t have that glow and his eyes looked tired. It made me think about the pressures the famous face on a daily basis and how they really must come to terms with living a very open life. Privacy is the sacrifice and sometimes so is sanity. I am not saying that Ledger was crazy but you have to wonder what his reality was like. When I heard of his death yesterday, I wondered what he might have done differently if he had known that Monday was his last day to live. It is a bit morbid, however, I know it is something that we all ponder. What would we do if we knew of our last day to live? Would you skip your trip to Starbucks and go straight to see your mother? Or would you visit an old flame? It saddens me to think of Ledger’s little girl not ever getting to know her father. I respected him as an actor and think that he was as good a father as he could be. He had pressures, some that we normal folks may never understand. I admit in my youth I was star struck and craved being in the spotlight, possibly even contemplating selling my soul to Hollywood. Then I started to see the Hollywood culture and I decided to change my direction. I don’t think that I would be a very healthy person mentally if I was chased around constantly by the press, my life judged by everyone. I enjoy my life of anonymity. It’s quiet. My mistakes are mine to reflect upon. If I have a bad day I don’t see it postered on the magazines at the supermarket. It can be dull but it can also be incredibly beautiful. I appreciate tomorrow.
R.I.P Heath Ledger
Reb
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January 15, 2008,
Thanks to family and friends I had an awesome birthday. My husband made me a huge canvas and he got me some new paints. Now I have to get the creative juices flowing. My kids made me some beautiful cards. I had to do fun things like laundry and the usual Monday chores and errands. I was thankful for them though. Sooner or later my kids will be on their own and I will have all the time I want to paint or write or just relax so I am trying really hard to enjoy the moment with them. It can be difficult. After being around them day in and day out, my frustrations sometimes get the best of me. I try to chant “respect, kindness, compassion” as I take deep breaths. It works pretty well. I am trying to take better care of my body too. I don’t understand why that is so hard. I am a Carbo Queen so bread, pizza and pasta are a weakness for me. If I could just manage my portions better. At least I have been able to stick with an excercise routine. Well, I am off to take more notes for my webmaster certification. Have a great day!
Reb
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January 10, 2008
Well I’ve got about four days left until my 33rd birthday. I am feeling pretty good about it. I have been consistent with my excercise routine for about two weeks now so I feel good that it will continue and I won’t celebrate feeling frumpy. I think I am exactly where I should be and where I thought I would be at this age. I wanted lots of kids when I was younger but then in my late teens to early twenties I vowed that I wouldn’t marry or reproduce. Of course, I now have three beautiful children who are each special, smart, happy and unique. I am excited to look toward another year of watching them grow and explore the world. Everything in our lives is not perfect of course but we are together and healthy and that is really all one can hope for in life. We have been through so much as a family and in the end it has been our love for one another that has kept us strong and hopeful. I am so thankful for that and feel so blessed to be a part of it. I just keep reading, writing, creating and dreaming of what our future might bring. I am excited about this election year and have really been paying attention so that I might make a truly informed decision when it comes time to vote. What an honor it is to take part in the nomination process and to excercise my freedom. Another thing I am thankful for on a daily basis, freedom. I cannot imagine living in a country without democracy, especially being a woman.
Godbless America!
Reb
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January 7, 2008
Took some time off from blogging, reflecting on the past and looking to the future can be exhausting. The kids are back in school and I have some free time again. I thought I better get back to it so it wasn’t forgotten. These next few months are going to go by so quickly. Suddenly it will be summer again. I have been trying to get into an excercise routine again. I need to workout today and I am stalling. I commited to Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a thirty minute workout. Having the weekend off has given me the excuse I need to think about how much I don’t want to do it. I know it will make me feel better. It is just doing it that takes such mind effort. I think I have decided to wait until the girls take a nap. This way I won’t be interupted ten times. I need to start increasing the weight and sets so I start to see more results. I don’t want to push myself so hard though that I loose interest as I have in the past. Why is this such a hard resolution to stick to? It is obviously good for you but so incredibly hard to stay commited to everyday. If I worked out first thing in the morning it would be better but I just cannot get myself out of bed before 6am. My body doesn’t really wake up until 9am. Anyway, I am going to go downstairs and get these girls down and get my workout in and hopefully then I will feel energized to do other stuff!!
Have a great day!
Reb
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